I fear that one day I will not be able to wake up and fight against the day. I fear that one day I will not be able to continue learning and improving myself. I feel like I am under constant pressure, and I know that one day that pressure will be released. Unfortunately, that pressure is what I enjoy most about life.
Maybe I am afraid of death, but only because it is a stop. I do not like to be in a constant state of stillness. I am a creature that does not like to stop being in constant motion. That motion is what allows me to be free. Stopping to me brings out all of the weaknesses and vulnerabilities that I fight against.
When I look at children I understand their world, I understand their simplicity, their curiosity, and that world exists in my mind too. But it is constantly bombarded with uncontrollable analysis and micromanagement of complex scenarios that are randomly arranged and make up the simple world.
This is where I lose the simple world, and this is where I start to try to fix the world. Putting things right leads to a simplicity. I think this is why I try so hard to improve, I want to fix the world and the only way to start is to live it.
Most people are put off by this, they do not like to be put under constant scrutiny. Most people are happy with what they have because they do not believe in their own potential. They are afraid to risk what they have, to get what will make them happy. Happiness is worth the risk.
So what am I afraid of
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