I Serve Food To People

So I am out of school now and I need to pick up on this blog because it keeps me motivated to think about things to write because I kind of expect that I should. All we do at school is read and write, might as well do some stuff outside of school because I waste so much time doing it anyways haha.

My job, my job is to bring people food, answer questions, make them laugh, and then they pay me money. I am not sure that people realize that I make pretty good money doing it. But there is no sense in the whole situation, no time ever would you be so mad at someone if you have to sit there looking at an empty water glass, because Holy Fuck, if I am paying that young man to fetch me food, my water glass WILL be full as well. The best part about my job is that I get to interact with SO many old people. These people have had a lot of time to practice eating, so some of them know everything to say, they have encountered every problem, and they know how to react to them. I cant quite remember what this one man said to me the other day but I will think about it and piece it together for you later. The best is when you play some kind of trick on them that they have never seen. And this is all I think about at work, and I am glad to write about it finally. The only time that I am happy at work is when I am trying to pull random tricks on customers, because it is the same thing, hungry, food, home, over and over for hours.

One time there was a big table, they were all from out of town, they were all together, business type people. They had made a reservation 2 weeks ago because they wanted to have prime rib. They unfortunately also made their reservation for 9pm on Saturday. After I told you that all of my customers are old, what time did you imagine me discussing with them? They eat dinner, have drinks, do coffee, maybe have a little stroll around Uptown, and in bed before 11. So when these lovely polite people got here, they all ordered drinks, and bottles of wine, they were out for a party. But when I talked to them about the menu, and they found out that we had sold all of our prime rib already, they almost actually got up and left. Swear to God the one guy stood up to leave, thats how upset they were, it was insane.

They finally ordered, after whining and complaining individually as each person orders from me. And I have to ask them at least 3 or 4 questions to get the orders right, because bringing food to people can be complicated. So the earful from every person, even after they heard what the person before them was saying and how they were bitching. It was just juvenile. They all ordered the same entree with sort of a comraderee (SP) that I have never encountered. And they also ordered a bunch of appetizers. So they went on, gaining steam, feeling better, more drinks. Once you are done the appetizer at my restaurant you get sorbet to cleanse your palate. I think people know what sorbet is, but sometimes you get this one guy who is perplexed. I am not going to explain it, look it up if you don't know.

One guy at this table had the most perplexed look on his face. Now I have to let you remember, these people did not like me at all because I told them we had no good meat left. So I said to him, and I swear to this story. I said "Sorry, we have been really busy tonight, and when we were taking the order and everything we actually sold out of everything. And the chef is offering these desserts as his apology."

This guy looked at me like no person has ever looked at me before. He was speechless, he didn't know where he was, he was drunk, and some 22 year old kid just told him we had no more food, even though he was the organizer of the party, he was the person that knew everyone and had got them all together.

I stopped, I put my hand on the shoulder of the man that was sitting across from him, I pointed at this man, and I said, "Did you actually believe all of that?" And everyone started laughing so hard, he was lost. Where is his food? When does he have to pay the bill? What flavor is this sorbet stuff?

We had plenty of food still, there was no problems what so ever I just wanted to see how he would react. He was being such a bitch about the whole prime rib thing that I just had to. I wasn't even worried about him getting up and leaving because with all of the whining he was doing I knew he wasn't going to tip me well, and I KNEW that he was paying. When I told him he was going to get his food, he smiled, no words, just a smile. Once he got his food, he ate it like he had never seen food before. I brought half of the tables food, and then came back with the other half. Once I had gotten the 2nd load of food, he was halfway done his entree. It was amazing, I had broken his equilibrium of always being able to quickly access food, and he panicked.

After I created that whole scene, I thought, and I have had this thought before. Why don't I just always do that random shit, as long as they actually get the food in the end and everything is fine, they won't care.

Once people have their food, they will talk and laugh, they want to know your life story once you have given them food. This man went to talk to the owner of the restaurant at the end of the meal. He wanted to tell him how good a server I was and how I handled tough situations well. Haahahah. That's the time in life when you really know you are on top of the game.