Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sleep

I can't seem to find it lately, when I have the time to sleep I can't. My mind races and races, the less I sleep the harder it gets to sleep. When I wake up, I feel tired but I still can't sleep. I know I know, just take down your stress levels and relax more, but that isn't the problem. I'm not even worried about not sleeping, but I am really starting to become intimate with that feeling of not quite being in reality, but not being far enough away to decide that I am asleep.

My schedule forces me to pull an all-nighter one night a week, it gives me a lot of perspective on how my body responds to strain. The problem is that at the end of the all-nighter is the most important part of my week, and the time right before the all-nighter is the most complex, enjoyable and stressful. Throwing all of those factors together gets my spirits up, I wish I could live at that level, having to will myself through some of the times, and wishing that the other times would last.

The upside is that the rest of the week flys by because I know that this time is coming again. I love the feeling of life, but as I go along on this schedule it is getting tougher. Next week is possibly the last time that I am going to have to do it. But so many things are coming into fruition in this week.

Yeah Yeah go for it, No No you can't do that,

At least everyone has their opinions lately, everyone knows best for me, but somehow I am still coasting along. At least people have something to talk about.

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