My Christmas Wishlist

Tonight I had planned to drive my parents house, instead it snowed all day. I respect that the weather can change plans/my car is from the city and doesn't like the snowy countryside. So I decided to use the spare time to set some personal goals together for the holiday season.

No crappy coffee - there is enough at the office

No crappy beer - if I can't afford a beer that is a dollar more expensive then I shouldn't be drinking

No fast food - I am embarrassed to even have this one on my list, sorry everyone

Make real meals - I will do my very best to avoid eating anything that has been frozen, besides delicious gelato

Shovel someones driveway - sometimes you gotta pay your dues

Get some clothes tailored - because who doesn't like a tailored shirt

Spend some time in the wilderness - I remember Bow Lake in the winter, and it makes me wish I could just live in a hut in the mountains

Get some skates on and get out on a pond - It's the only way to feel Canadian, unless you form a coalition

Listen to Ben Harper and play a game of euchre - this is my list and I'll do what I want, there is nothing wrong with a victory lap over the couch

Stay off of Facebook - I got things to do



If you want to join me in my 10 goals gimme a call, 519-716-0171, if not, I hope you enjoy the holidays as much as I am going to.

Evolution

I survived the first week of double job action. No big deal, still snuck some fun times in there as well. Today I felt like I finally belonged in the office, it's a huge jump for me and I am being bombarded with information all day. Working 9 to 8 will get easier when I know what I am doing a little better instead of having to learn hour by hour. Today we got into some of the finer details of what I need to do daily, weekly, and monthly. I feel a lot more confident about it now that I know exactly what I am looking for instead of trying to imagine it and letting it balloon in my mind.

I even booked an appointment to see someone on Monday, which is another step towards actually making some money instead of just paying for parking and taking up office space. So the key component of my job is being on the phone, ideally I am going to be on the phone for 25+ hours a week for the next year. And believe me it is as fun as it sounds, non-stop calling, Will Smith style, I don't even hang up the phone I just release and dial again. But to be honest it isn't worse than what I was doing, and I'll be able to make a legitimate life out of it so I'm really not complaining.

Past That Point

Two full time jobs is sweet, one day off a week is sweet. But you think I would be a little bit more careful with my sleep time. Right now I am committed to everything that I am doing, but it has gone past that point of personal commitment right now. I am doing more than enough 4ams lately, it is one thing to be there, but when the lights are still on in the house on the hill it makes you wonder how much longer you can keep something like this up. The twinkle isn't something that I am unfamiliar with, but how much do I care about my pretty face. I have been dodging bullets for a few weeks now, and I know exactly which bullet is going to get me and why.

Our sense of smell is tied most directly to memory, and thats the bullet that isn't going to miss. Let's see if I am as bulletproof as I think I am.

1>2

So the tally is in, the votes were; 1 for, and 2 against. I always had a suspicion that democracy didn't work. It is the tool of the capitalist elite. But, wait, I thought I wanted to be one of those guys wearing the sexy custom suits that 7 or 8 people labored on. Yeah, that is what I want. So after the balloting was over I held my own secret ballot vote. I went and had a little chat with God and he told me that I should continue on in His name and complete the work that I have already started. Seems the people made the wrong choice, so I had to go ahead and veto their initiative. It happens all of the time, if you give the people the power to vote they will make the wrong decision, they are so easily confused by coercion and other types of literal or implied violence.

Thank you to everyone who took part in this election, my campaign manager, lifestyle instructor, and personal stylist. I am going to ride this wave of momentum right into the White House.

Shirts and Ties

I don't have a single thing to complain about today, usually I only want to write when something is bugging me. Today I have an hour to waste before I change from one shirt and tie job to another shirt and tie job. My work day for the next month is 9am til midnight. Good times, I have began a bit of a relationship with someone I used to stick my nose up at. Usually I like to go for someone that is a little less common, has a little sophistication, but sometimes you need a pick me up. I am going to use this blog to repent the slander that I have been spewing for years. I take back most of the bad things that I have said about coffee, because now I need her. It is fun being all dressed up all of the time, but if you can't stay awake you can't make money.

It's funny that I am in the risk management business, if you took a little look into my life right now you wouldn't believe it. But sometimes you have to push the risk envelope a little bit to get what you want. I need some insurance right now, hopefully I'll find someone willing to take on my risk taking personality.

You heard it here first... when I get paid I am taking a fucking vacation. I really don't care where it is, or when, or for how long, but when I have the cash money I am searching out a cheap ass vacation. 2 stipulations; beach, swim up bar. Case closed.

Told my boss/new life coach today that I was sick of not driving an Infiniti G, he says that won't be an issue. Case closed.

Forgot Something..

Also, sleep is very important. Staying up all day and all night is bad for you. You can't do it forever.

But you did an excellent job on everything else in the letter today, keep up the good work, sorry about the oversight.

A Letter To Myself

This is the last transitional stage, you don't have to struggle forever. Take care of your body, no pot, no booze, no crap food. You can make an impact right away if you stick to solid fundamentals. Listen carefully to everyone but don't take it to heart. No negative words will come out of your mouth, be respectful and save your criticism. Not everyone has the opportunities that you have. Don't try to be someone you aren't, stay within your limits for now until you have established yourself. There is only one question in your mind right now, try to solve it. If you decide to roll the dice, commit to it. Give the honest answers and live with the consequences.

Today Was A Day Like Any Other

There was only one person that I wanted to talk to yesterday, yesterday was tough, it was the culmination of so many things in my life. I wish that you wanted to talk to me. I know, oh no Mr. Cool is having a bad day, blah blah blah. Fuck him, he thinks he is so cool, he just does whatever he wants, he has no feelings. It's about time he had a bad fucking day.

I put everything in my life aside for yesterday, so I guess I deserve what I get when it doesn't pan out quite the way I want it to. This means so much to me, I knew my car was dying but I decided that I had to chance it. It wasn't the end of the world, but for the first time in a long time I had that hollow feeling of not knowing what to do. And I deserve better than "well if anyone can do it, you can." At least fake it, I knew you didn't want to talk to me the second you answered the phone. All of the times you cried on my shoulder, all of the times I held back your hair. Maybe I am a fucking asshole, but that really upset me, whatever you were busy or not feeling well or whatever but fuck.

Maybe you just don't get it, you don't know how hard I work for things. No one wants to give me anything, I struggle everyday. And maybe it is an inconvenience when I can't come see you every week. But I have 75 dollars in my bank account, I have fucking nothing. If I didn't get a bailout yesterday I wouldn't have a car, I would've had to sleep in the street, and I would have had just enough money to put myself on a bus. But that's cool because if anyone can figure it out it's me. I should support you when you are telling me about how you like coke, but when my car breaks down, I am broke, and almost miss the biggest test of my life that's not a big deal really. I get it, I am a big boy and I can take care of myself.

I am sick everytime that you discourage me from all of the ambitions I have, oh lets go on a trip, well I cant go on a trip unless I get a good education and work hard. I wish you encouraged me to be the person I am. I fucking love you, you were the only person that knew I was really alive for like 2 years. You were my best friend and I meant everything I have ever said to you. But I just can't explain why I can't spend 2 days a week with you anymore. I am fucking busy, I would love to just spend my days hanging out with you, eating tapas and singing Holiday in Spain and sleeping in the position. But my life isn't fun, I don't have fun. I hate my job, hate where I live, hate that I don't have anything. So I have to be dedicated and diligent. I push myself because I don't want to be my parents, I want to have a secure life, I want to enjoy myself and help people.

So find someone else, someone who is happy to wake up in debt. Someone who approves of everything you do. Someone who isn't careful, someone who doesn't have the self respect to know that you shouldn't do some things. Someone who isn't going to get a grown up job that keeps him away.

It will be sweet, you guys can go to Sneaky D's, make friends in the park, put things up your nose.

Don't comment or write your own shit, I know who I am. I'm not perfect, but I'm not going to justify what I think. You were my best friend, I know that you can do so much more than you are. You get mad everytime I criticize you, but I have no alterior motives. I want you to be happy and successful as a person. I never gave you any advice that furthered my personal agenda. I am sick of this rap that I have of, oh he doesn't care. He only cares about himself. We have been through so much together, but if everything falling apart was my fault, then fine, I'll take the fall like a man, but good luck in the future.

When Was The Last Time...

Generally when people ask me questions I can at least throw together some kind of possible answer. I think that is something that people respect about me, sure I have an agenda, everyone does. Everyone is trying to do things. But if you ask me a question I will do the best I can to answer it.

"I feel like a moviestar"

Yesterday, I didn't have the answers. Or was I trying to avoid them. I am pretty good at stacking plates, but sometimes my arms aren't strong enough to carry all of the plates that I try to.

Yesterday, a friend asked me why I looked like someone kicked my dog. I told him that if someone kicked my dog, I would probably cut them up into small pieces. And then I would never talk about it again. It is important to be passionate.

Yesterday was important. If I have the answers then I'm not living.

Since I'm Not Going To Say It...

When I said I was over it, I meant it. When I said I wasn't worried, I wasn't. And I would've taken it as far as I had to. But not this way. I'll do the right thing because it is the right thing, but it really could've gone either way.

So I Sleep Like A Dog Now

Sometimes I sleep at night, sometimes I sleep in the day, sometimes I don't sleep at all. As long as I keep myself organized I don't see that changing, at least for the next 2 months. I am taking on more than I should maybe. But fuck it, you will never know if you don't go for it.

It seems like every decision I make right now has epic consequences. I know I bring it on myself, and I don't fear the consequences. But at the same time I wish it didn't have to be like this. The rollercoaster just started moving, and it is click click clicking its way to the top. And I am really not sure that I want to be on this ride, but why the fuck else did I come to an amusement park if I'm not going to ride the best and fastest ride they are offering me? I knew that I was going to find myself here when I was in the car. What did I think I was going to do once I got here? My mind was made up well before today, well before I put the shoulder restraint on. Maybe it's just because I'm not too sure about the safety equipment. But who is going to save me?

The good thing is, ummm, oh yeah, there are a lot of good things. I have reasons to get up and do things, it isn't all about will power anymore. There are expectations, and there are people that are just dying to see me fuck it all up and get my face smashed in. I can see it in their eyes, but I love that adversity, even though most of it is imagined in my head. More and more it seems that people are wishing me nothing but the best. And I am a good guy to the people that I know and care about. But the people that don't know me, are getting things taken away from them. So fuck em, everyone can't have everything. You can either take what I have, or find someone else that is an easier mark. And then what does that make you.

Don't have expectations, have goals, let the people sitting on the couch watching have their expectations.

And Then Everything Got Serious...

So when I wrote about not going all in every time, so, maybe I don't have any chips at all. And once it gets out of hand, it might actually be serious. But what is the point of waking up if you aren't going to do anything. I didn't necessarily choose the cards that I am all in with now, but there is a part of me that doesn't give a shit about cards.

Everyone thinks they know what the right thing to do is, well fuck you too because I know what the fuck I am doing. If it is the right thing, do something, if not sit down.

I'll take shit, and people will take shots, but that only means that you are looking at me. I'll be fine. I have nothing to lose, and if you are against, then that is your own business. I'll be fine.

Sleep

I can't seem to find it lately, when I have the time to sleep I can't. My mind races and races, the less I sleep the harder it gets to sleep. When I wake up, I feel tired but I still can't sleep. I know I know, just take down your stress levels and relax more, but that isn't the problem. I'm not even worried about not sleeping, but I am really starting to become intimate with that feeling of not quite being in reality, but not being far enough away to decide that I am asleep.

My schedule forces me to pull an all-nighter one night a week, it gives me a lot of perspective on how my body responds to strain. The problem is that at the end of the all-nighter is the most important part of my week, and the time right before the all-nighter is the most complex, enjoyable and stressful. Throwing all of those factors together gets my spirits up, I wish I could live at that level, having to will myself through some of the times, and wishing that the other times would last.

The upside is that the rest of the week flys by because I know that this time is coming again. I love the feeling of life, but as I go along on this schedule it is getting tougher. Next week is possibly the last time that I am going to have to do it. But so many things are coming into fruition in this week.

Yeah Yeah go for it, No No you can't do that,

At least everyone has their opinions lately, everyone knows best for me, but somehow I am still coasting along. At least people have something to talk about.

Finally

So I've finished reading my big red book. I have dedicated all of my free time to this book lately, and it is a bittersweet feeling to have conquered it. I want to celebrate but just finishing the required reading doesn't guarantee anything. It does mean that I am one step closer to starting a new life and a new career.

Who needs sleep? Who needs friends? Who needs a life? Who needs fun?

Sometimes I do, but right now I am willing to sacrifice. I have lots of time ahead of me for fun, but if I don't put any work in now I will have to spend the rest of my life chasing fun instead of living fun.

I am raising the bar, now I have even higher personal expectations. But if I don't expect anything from myself I can't blame anyone else for doing the same.

This Isn't The Way

I did everything that I could to avoid this one, you can't always stick your nose in it. Sometimes it isn't up to me. Some things are decided before I have a chance to decide. I guess there is nothing else I can do but wait it out. I guess I will just stick my nose out a little bit further and hope that everyone else knows what they are doing.

So Who Is That?

Up until the last two years of my life, I did whatever I felt like doing. I did it whenever I wanted and I paid the price for my decisions more than once. I was a kid then, but don't think I am a different person. I am only smarter than I used to be. I have discipline, but I will return to that person. You can't be all in every hand. You lose too much.

If you are there at the right times you see flashes of that person that I can be when I am all in. It takes a toll on your body, and it also takes a toll on your mind. My mind wants my body to be free, so my mind is doing the best it can to develop a system in which my body can fly.

I have choices that not everyone is blessed with. See what I am like when I have all of the chips on the table.

I hate to lose.

I Have A Present For You

So I finally decided that I wanted to start writing again, it isn't just something that you do, at least not when you are trying to do things in real life as well.

Starting something new, a friend of mine recently came back from a trip, he didn't do the resort thing, he just went his own way. While he was there he bought me a pair of wooden wine glasses, normally I don't really worry about presents. They are just things that you have, some of those things you use, and some of those things you just stick somewhere until you can get rid of them somehow. But these glasses are different, I appreciate them because they were bought for me, not because of a holiday.

So where did we leave off the last time we talked, oh yeah, I was trying to do some thing so that I could do some other things. Well, I have done some things, and I have stopped doing some other things so that I could free up the space. Sometimes I feel like life is as simple as that, do the things that you have to do so you can set yourself up, to do some things that you want to do. Wait that wasn't simple at all.

Right now I am fully dedicated to my new job opportunity, if I can make the hard part of this job work, I could earn enough money in one shot to basically relieve every draining issue in my life. And once I have the weight off of my chest I promise to remember everything it has taken me to get this far, I am living in a basement apartment right now to save money to make this transition happen, it isn't the best but I will do what I have to. Sleeping in a basement makes my allergies go crazy, and generally makes my life miserable, but I have slept in enough places to know that some are better and some are worse. And that you can always get back to the good places if you remember what they feel like.

I remember sleeping in my car, looking out the back window at the Rocky Mountains. The back seat folds down, and if you stuff some bags and pillows in the little space where your feet go you can make a bed almost big enough for two. But it gets awfully cold outside sometimes in the Rockies and you had better hope that you have someone with you to keep you warm.

I enjoy driving my car, sometimes I just go out and drive. All by myself, on the open highway. The sunroof is open and I am free to go wherever I want. Full tank of gas and nothing but hopes and dreams ahead of me. Sometimes I sing songs, just for myself, but that doesn't mean that I am only being heard by my ears.

There are still some things that I can't write about, some things that I just don't want to publish on the internet for anyone to read. But I will say this, I am trying to do the right thing. I want to be a role model, and my world will be happy.

The Rules

The best trick anyone ever pulled on us was when they told us that there were rules. What are these rules, and what are they based on. You can't kill someone, that is wrong (now don't go getting the idea that I want to kill someone, I just want to talk about the idea). In all honesty, how do you justify the statement, 'it is wrong to kill someone.' Is it always wrong, or just wrong with certain exceptions. If someone did something really 'bad' maybe you can kill them. If one country signs a document saying that it is at war with another country they can kill each other, is that wrong? The thing about the world is, things either are or they aren't. That is why rules don't make sense, because sometimes they can be BROKEN, and then wow what a rush I am doing something that I am not supposed to be doing.

Rules about safety are my favourite. Hey, Hey, don't do that, that isn't safe. The sign says so, can't you see that orange flashing man, don't you know that you can only walk when the white walking man is on the screen. Didn't your parents teach you anything.

These rules make me sad, if you can't decide when is a good time to try and cross a road without having little men to tell you. Then I am sorry that you had to read all of that.

I am going to think a little more about the rules and get back to you.

I Serve Food To People

So I am out of school now and I need to pick up on this blog because it keeps me motivated to think about things to write because I kind of expect that I should. All we do at school is read and write, might as well do some stuff outside of school because I waste so much time doing it anyways haha.

My job, my job is to bring people food, answer questions, make them laugh, and then they pay me money. I am not sure that people realize that I make pretty good money doing it. But there is no sense in the whole situation, no time ever would you be so mad at someone if you have to sit there looking at an empty water glass, because Holy Fuck, if I am paying that young man to fetch me food, my water glass WILL be full as well. The best part about my job is that I get to interact with SO many old people. These people have had a lot of time to practice eating, so some of them know everything to say, they have encountered every problem, and they know how to react to them. I cant quite remember what this one man said to me the other day but I will think about it and piece it together for you later. The best is when you play some kind of trick on them that they have never seen. And this is all I think about at work, and I am glad to write about it finally. The only time that I am happy at work is when I am trying to pull random tricks on customers, because it is the same thing, hungry, food, home, over and over for hours.

One time there was a big table, they were all from out of town, they were all together, business type people. They had made a reservation 2 weeks ago because they wanted to have prime rib. They unfortunately also made their reservation for 9pm on Saturday. After I told you that all of my customers are old, what time did you imagine me discussing with them? They eat dinner, have drinks, do coffee, maybe have a little stroll around Uptown, and in bed before 11. So when these lovely polite people got here, they all ordered drinks, and bottles of wine, they were out for a party. But when I talked to them about the menu, and they found out that we had sold all of our prime rib already, they almost actually got up and left. Swear to God the one guy stood up to leave, thats how upset they were, it was insane.

They finally ordered, after whining and complaining individually as each person orders from me. And I have to ask them at least 3 or 4 questions to get the orders right, because bringing food to people can be complicated. So the earful from every person, even after they heard what the person before them was saying and how they were bitching. It was just juvenile. They all ordered the same entree with sort of a comraderee (SP) that I have never encountered. And they also ordered a bunch of appetizers. So they went on, gaining steam, feeling better, more drinks. Once you are done the appetizer at my restaurant you get sorbet to cleanse your palate. I think people know what sorbet is, but sometimes you get this one guy who is perplexed. I am not going to explain it, look it up if you don't know.

One guy at this table had the most perplexed look on his face. Now I have to let you remember, these people did not like me at all because I told them we had no good meat left. So I said to him, and I swear to this story. I said "Sorry, we have been really busy tonight, and when we were taking the order and everything we actually sold out of everything. And the chef is offering these desserts as his apology."

This guy looked at me like no person has ever looked at me before. He was speechless, he didn't know where he was, he was drunk, and some 22 year old kid just told him we had no more food, even though he was the organizer of the party, he was the person that knew everyone and had got them all together.

I stopped, I put my hand on the shoulder of the man that was sitting across from him, I pointed at this man, and I said, "Did you actually believe all of that?" And everyone started laughing so hard, he was lost. Where is his food? When does he have to pay the bill? What flavor is this sorbet stuff?

We had plenty of food still, there was no problems what so ever I just wanted to see how he would react. He was being such a bitch about the whole prime rib thing that I just had to. I wasn't even worried about him getting up and leaving because with all of the whining he was doing I knew he wasn't going to tip me well, and I KNEW that he was paying. When I told him he was going to get his food, he smiled, no words, just a smile. Once he got his food, he ate it like he had never seen food before. I brought half of the tables food, and then came back with the other half. Once I had gotten the 2nd load of food, he was halfway done his entree. It was amazing, I had broken his equilibrium of always being able to quickly access food, and he panicked.

After I created that whole scene, I thought, and I have had this thought before. Why don't I just always do that random shit, as long as they actually get the food in the end and everything is fine, they won't care.

Once people have their food, they will talk and laugh, they want to know your life story once you have given them food. This man went to talk to the owner of the restaurant at the end of the meal. He wanted to tell him how good a server I was and how I handled tough situations well. Haahahah. That's the time in life when you really know you are on top of the game.

Enemies of the Environment

This is the written draft of my last speech, it wasn't delivered exactly like this but I didn't use a cue card so I had to freestyle it a little bit.
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Good Afternoon everyone,

My name is Jay Clemens and the University of Waterloo has asked me to come here today to speak to you about an issue of great importance.

But first I would like to apologize for not giving my speech on Wednesday, I know a lot of people were counting on seeing this speech on Wednesday but Kathy was gracious enough to reschedule me so that I could deliver my message to everyone here today

Climate change has become one of the hottest topics of discussion, not just in Canada but globally. Climate change is taking away precious air-time from our favourite celebrities and commercials, but is it that important.

I recently received my degree in Global-warmology and i now make a living teaching about the causes and effects of climate change. And here today I would like to speak to you about the 3 biggest contributors to global warming.

So the first culprit is one of the most vicious and ruthless animals to ever walk the Earth.

The cow, as most animals have seen their numbers decline by a natural process called “Human Consumption” cows have seen their numbers have been steadily increasing since World War 2. These animals with their hunger and lust for blood have been ravaging grasslands relentlessly. Everyone has heard about going green, and being green, well guess what colour grass is? Thats right green, and as a green loving creatures it is our duty to defend them.

The only solution that we have been able to project in solving this crisis is simply eating all of them, if they think they can just eat all of the grass how will they feel if we just eat all of them.

Second on our list of offenders....

Human Babies, babies come out of the womb with a need for consumer goods, without the ability to think rationally that adults have, these small savages consume as much media, and toys as they possibly can. Media and toys take fossil fuels to make or distribute, this takes away from the share of fossil fuels left for the adults, who wants to live in a world where you cant idle your V8 magnum truck, or spend your whole day just flying a helicopter around. Childrens inability to feed themselves leaves the adults with no choice but to continue to feed them until they reach maturity. This is a vicious cycle, with most of the impact being played out in the natural world; resources are becoming more and more scarce everyday.

So what is the solution to this problem? Who said eat them all, clearly that is not an option, if you can clear that with Oprah and Bono we will do it but good luck.

The solution is something we can systematic replacement outside of line of sight, what this means is basically all of the adult humans just need to not allow their children to continue to consume our natural resources, until they are large enough to procure those resources on their own.

Lastly, and with the greatest number of crimes against the environment, I couldn’t even use a real picture because they say if you stare directly at this beast you turn to stone, or go blind or something.

Thats right, the sun.

Sure the sun is great, warms up the beaches, makes beer taste better, helps to create raisins. But it just doesn’t know when to quit, when to say hey, maybe I should turn it down a little I think I’m hurting people. The worst part about it is that the Sun and Carbon particles do not get along, Carbon gets the Sun all riled up and makes it even hotter. But we love making carbon, everything in this classroom has made Carbon at least once.

So what is the solution to this problem? After many attempts to block out the sun completely by Mr. Burns and other wealthy business men, we have moved on to plan B. What we are going to do since we would never want to reduce carbon emissions, we will simply capture the carbon and bury it deep underground. The Canadian federal government is on board with this idea and has began pouring millions of dollars into this fool proof plan, how could burying something in the ground not work? It has always worked before.

Now I that today I have prepared you for the future. The key is education, the more that you can know about Climate Change the better we will be in the war against terrorism, I mean Global Warming.

Everything that I have told you about these 3 culprits is true, I encourage you to go home and check the facts for yourself. And once you have done that I would also encourage you to go to www.globalwarming.org to find out how you can help.

That's What She Said..

“Wow that is really hard

You really think you can go all day long

Well you always left me satisfied and smiling so...

THATS WHAT SHE SAID”

This was the scene at my families Christmas dinner, we were re-enacting scenes from The Office.. but when did quoting television shows replace genuine social interactions? I think I found the source of the problem:: we spend too much time as a society watching Television, According to a study done by an Ottawa based group in 2003, Canadians on average watched 3.2 hours of television per day. So basically we are watching ONE DAY of television per week.

My plan today is to leave you with several strategies, on how to reduce your television watching time and also how to get more out of the time that you are already wasting with the TV.

There are two basic groups of television watchers here today, there are the people who CANNOT miss this weeks episode of their favourite show, these are the people that plan their lives around when Grey’s Anatomy or The Office comes on.

Then there are the more casual watchers, they just happen to find their way into a room with the TV on, they don’t really miss it if they don’t get to watch it, but they're thinking, hey Ive got some free time, so I guess I’ll watch a little Family Guy.

I am going to talk to the die hard fans, because you guys have had some time off with the writers strike and if i get to you quickly I might be able to stop you from going back to your old habits.

My first recommendation is... mute the commercials, nobody really needs to know how many blades gillettes new razor has. Stand up, walk around, get a glass of water, look out the window. Often during the commercials I just get distracted doing something else. The real world doesn’t happen in 30 minute segments.

Secondly, avoid just flipping through the channels, I understand that you want to watch your favourite shows, but if you aren’t watching that life or death show don’t turn on the tv... just Don’t ... save yourself from watching those Fresh Prince of Bel Air reruns.

Lastly, when you are watching TV, sit up, or better yet, sit on the floor, this will keep you more alert and you will be able to enjoy your favourite shows more because you will be more focused. Plus you will able to stretch out, and you will be using your muscles to stabilize yourself on the floor instead of being a sack on the couch, and this will help you get that beach body you have always dreamed of.

Ok that might be an exaggeration but hey every little bit counts when July comes around

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ok now for the casual viewers, When you find yourself alone with that hour to waste, try this, first I want you to disconnect from any active media, which means TV, your IPod, facebook, anything that bombards you with media. if you can do this outside it will be even better, now just breathe for a minute, let your senses relax, just sit and day dream, everyone has been telling you that daydreaming is bad, day dreaming is a beautiful thing, it’s the newest fad in on demand media, it’s called imagination.

Now that you have had a chance to clear your head, think about your weekly schedule, if you have a lot of free time add in something that you want to do, if you put those wasted hours to use, let me remind you 24 hours a week on average, I’m sure that you can the find time to Take pottery lessons, learn Maui Tai, learn to Salsa dance, do something you want instead of watching other people do things.

My number one recommendation for what to do when you decide you have free time, have a nap. We have very difficult schedules that demand that we are up and down at random times, so get ahead, and be fresh for when you need to be.

So to summarize, take back that seventh day of your week, if you have to watch tv, don’t watch commercials, watch what you came for and get out, and sit up and move around.

And if you have free time, USE IT, do something that inspires you, do something that you can talk to people about and get them excited, and if all else fails, take a nap and prepare for the day when you will do these things.

Before I go I just want to leave you with one last thought,

Jim Halpert and Micheal Scott already have enough fans, they don’t need your help getting exposure, they won’t mind if you have a conversation about the things that YOU are doing, what YOUR plans for the future are, don’t spend the precious time you have, talking to someone else about what an imaginary person is doing. And as highly educated people, here today I feel like we can be better role models for the younger kids at the table next Christmas.

How Poor Am I ?

I have student loans so I can stay in school, I have bad credit, I have a half decent part-time job, and I owe Visa twice as much as I have in my accounts right now. The worst part about it is that I am doing a lot better than most people in this country.

I think we really need to stop dreaming about PEPSI, VISA, and McDonalds. I am committed to living a sustainable lifestyle, and the first step that we need to take is to at least stop the freefall. Debt makes you think that you don't have options because you have such a heavy burden. Debt is a massive part of the world that we live in.

If you write back to me in one month and say all things in I came out ahead last month. I will shake your hand. I moved a couple notches positive in the last 2 months but it took a lot of lifestyle changes. And I am still deep in it, which makes you even less inspired to get there.

Bankers

They are a curious bunch, number counters and gold stackers. They make an absurd amount of money by simply moving around money, holding on to it, passing it along. Does this seem strange? The other quality of bankers that is unshakable, they are always optimists, the market is getting BETTER AND BETTER, look at all of this money wow I am so happy. Bankers also know that they have to always keep it good because if it gets bad people just won't have money for them to play with.

And this makes the news I have been hearing kind of shocking. I saw a bar today, that was supposed to be Bay Streets hangout. The men in their were very nicely dressed, beautifully groomed, and they all looked like someone was going to shoot them in the head. Then they were saying things like this could be as bad as the 1930's and the depression. IF YOU ARE A BANKER, FOR NO REASON DO YOU JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT. That is even worse than saying I hope terrorists don't bomb the Super Bowl, because George Bush is going to be there for sure, and we would stop the war if someone assassinated him.

When you make statements like that, people listen, and clearly you don't say things like that on TV when it effects your life so much. Thats how serious it really is, when you have men that make their entire livelihood on the global markets. Talking about how they see signs for the worst crash in history, good luck bankers, when the people re-build their own systems, I will make sure to let you in to smell the money every once in a while.

Am I Right ?

I was thinking about this today, how do we make decisions? There are seemingly endless streams of input for people in today's world, how do we sort things out and decide?

A lot of people seriously doubt themselves, and when you doubt yourself you can't ever seem to decide what to do. You cannot ever be consistent because you teeter back and forth, sometimes a good decision, sometimes a bad decision. How can you doubt yourself? No one else in the world knows what is better for you. Every person lives in their own personal worlds, sure we share a great deal of experience with everyone else. But everything that you do, and everything that you know, that is what make us individuals and that is what separates us from our communal experience of society. Pay attention to how your body acts, your moods, your energy levels, and then just start doing things to make yourself feel better. Simple little things make life so much easier. If you are doing things that you just know you should quit, just quit them, we are not slaves. Do what makes you happy, and truly feel happy.

For me, the best way to make decisions that I stick to is; to just set goals. Because if you have a goal in mind you can just decide, does this help me or hurt me in my pursuit of the goal? This usually takes away at least 50% of the decisions that you can make wrong. Sometimes I feel like I live in a world of check marks and columns, but I don't recommend taking everything literally. And if you set goals that you believe you can make, and goals that you think will make you a better person

I think that most people use how people look at them, as an expression of how well they are doing at life. The problem with that idea is that I feel that your world outside reflects who you are. That is why you see so many people that look like they are doing fantastic end up in drug rehab, you cannot judge someone by their looks. But if you see a person that captivates a room of people, and you see them telling a story. You ask, is he right? Odds are that the person that is holding that audience, isn't scared to be wrong.

We Are Animals

So this is my idea,

Someone close to me is doing a raw food diet, and that really made me think, I think that it is a really good idea. Basically what I want to do is take a different angle at it. What I want to do is this, make my diet entirely of fruits, vegetables, and water. But where it gets a bit silly is that I want to basically just eat the items with no cooking but also with no sort of preparation. So eating just a raw whole tomato, or lettuce. I want to eat like an animal would, not using dishes or cutlery, buying fresh food and not using a fridge even.
I really want to see for myself whether or not all of these recommended daily intake levels have any meaning. In an ideal sense I would like to do this with only locally available foods and just skip supermarkets all together but since it is winter that isn't going to be possible.
This is the statement, I would like to commit to one month of eating only fruit and vegetables, drinking only water, and not creating meals but simply eating one item or another in their original form without any sort of preparation, and even eating pieces that are not traditionally eaten (within reason)
We spend so much of our planet's wealth because we think that we are not animals, and we think that we need to have our food put together in a certain way for us because that is what we have been taught. I want to prove to myself that I am an animal.

Dreams

How does it feel to know that you are one careful, productive day away from everything you have ever wanted?

Would you still want it?

Do you still want it?

When you reach out your hand, do you feel it?
How much coincidence will you need, or is it really there?
Everyone has dreams. Some are images of fame and fortune. But some, those few that you can feel, they are the ones that wake you up at night. They keep you from straying because you are always within arms reach. What will you do once you cross that bridge?
Are there more bridges? Will you be trading your dreams for more dreams? Will it be worth it?

I guess you are going to find out. Because that checklist that you keep from the world is always within arms reach.

Just Reach

Change the World

I fear that one day I will not be able to wake up and fight against the day. I fear that one day I will not be able to continue learning and improving myself. I feel like I am under constant pressure, and I know that one day that pressure will be released. Unfortunately, that pressure is what I enjoy most about life.

Maybe I am afraid of death, but only because it is a stop. I do not like to be in a constant state of stillness. I am a creature that does not like to stop being in constant motion. That motion is what allows me to be free. Stopping to me brings out all of the weaknesses and vulnerabilities that I fight against.

When I look at children I understand their world, I understand their simplicity, their curiosity, and that world exists in my mind too. But it is constantly bombarded with uncontrollable analysis and micromanagement of complex scenarios that are randomly arranged and make up the simple world.

This is where I lose the simple world, and this is where I start to try to fix the world. Putting things right leads to a simplicity. I think this is why I try so hard to improve, I want to fix the world and the only way to start is to live it.

Most people are put off by this, they do not like to be put under constant scrutiny. Most people are happy with what they have because they do not believe in their own potential. They are afraid to risk what they have, to get what will make them happy. Happiness is worth the risk.

So what am I afraid of